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duducdx 发表于 2023-4-8 06:50   只看TA 51楼
我说说看法~虽然写的是现实和虚拟网络两个世界~可以对时间空间穿插~兄弟的文笔够细腻~用了很多现实生活中常见的物品描写得也很细致到位~让人有现场感~但缺点是兄弟罗列的物品彼此之间很少有关联~而游戏中的独孤求败和电脑面前的男人的心理如何关联也看不清楚~（1）的叙事和（2）的肉戏之间是怎样关联的也很模糊~虽然是连载可以在后面慢慢展开写清楚~但大的脉络本来就很隐晦~小的细节也看不到有趣的关联的话则会给人一种散乱的感觉~希望兄弟在后续章节中能够及时调整下~写出更精彩的章节来~呵呵~一家之言~得罪处莫怪哈^^
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