awfulkoko 发表于 2011-11-11 21:28   全显示 1楼
楼主用倒叙来写，可是关于洛远怎么搞上亲姐姐的的情节却没有交代......再来就是洛凝回到洛府之后就变了一个人.还有很多可以添加的内容..比容洛远帮助姐姐脱离的李北斗的虎口,但是觊觎姐姐已久的洛远,终于有机会品尝洛凝.再入狼窝的洛凝随林三到京城,以为终得幸福,然虎狼皆至...林三家中美色众多,胁迫洛凝设计致使巧巧,玉若等人沉沦性海~~小弟一点拙见.
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  • bdh612 金币 +4 回复认真，鼓励！抽奖去吧。 2011-11-12 01:27
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